And while it’s fair to say that these men (and women) who at best take advantage and at its worst abuse us are at fault, what we have to realise is that as we are 100% responsible for ourselves, we have our part in in it too.Every day I read stories in my email, read the comments, Facebook, and even general stories via my friends, acquaintances, and of course the media, and I feel deeply saddened that there are many women who are like how I have been, believing they have no options, or their option is someone who treats them ‘less than’.

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It’s better to stretch yourself and get uncomfortable so that you do justice by yourself, rather than staying in a comfort zone where you experience limited love, joy, and happiness.

Have you considered other options other than the one where you stay, for example, with an assclown or Mr Unavailable?

It’s like we don’t believe in healthy relationships anymore and are desperate to fill up a void with somebody, anybody…just as long as they cater to our beliefs.

Here’s the thing: I know that dating is not as straightforward as it used to be and lazy communication has been enhanced by texts, email, and instant messenger, as well many people thinking that there are so many fish in the sea that they don’t need to commit, but when we believe that our options are limited or that we have no options, a lot of assclowns and Mr Unavailables but that there were plenty of healthy people too, lo and behold, I saw them, met them, and was interested, with the key difference being that I actually believed that I was genuinely believing it was possible.

I’d forget I’d stirred things up and instead focus on the leaving me because I’m unlovable bit.

We can sell ourselves short before we even do a damn thing because we’re already selling ourselves short in our head, telling ourselves negative messages, not believing in our capabilities, and believing that the answer to our problems is in someone else.

Baggage Reclaim is a guide to learning to live and love with self-esteem by breaking the patterns that stand in your way.

Whether it's figuring out what’s going on in a troubling relationship, understanding you and self-care, or being more assertive, I’m here to help you guide you.

You’ll ‘run’ but you’ll go in fits and starts and you won’t be healthy.