At the end of the day, sexual infidelity is not so much about the physical sex act - either in the real world or online - it’s about the fact that you are keeping it a secret from your partner, the one person in the world with whom you supposedly share everything.If you’re looking at pornography and your spouse knows about it and is OK with it, then it’s not a problem. If you’re chatting on Facebook with an old flame from college and your partner knows and doesn’t mind, so be it.

But if you’re keeping these interactions a secret from your partner, you might want to re-think what you’re doing. Sadly, many cheaters don’t realize how profoundly their secretive sexual behavior can affect the long-term emotional life of a trusting spouse or partner.

Basically, if you’re hiding any sexual or romantic behavior from your significant other, you’re engaging in infidelity. Usually when the cheated-on partner finds out about the infidelity - and they almost always do - it’s not the extramarital sex that causes the most pain; instead, it’s the fact the partner’s trust and belief in the person that he or she is closest to has been shattered.

The hacker demanded $100,000 from Adult Friend Finder to keep the user info under wraps. Besides, giving into extortion is a bad solution for companies and users alike because once they have power over you, the criminals will just keep coming back for more.

Until the investigation is completed, it will be difficult to determine with certainty the full scope of the incident, but we will continue to work vigilantly to address this potential issue and will provide updates as we learn more from our investigation," the company continued.

No matter where or how the infidelity took place, learning about it is incredibly traumatic for the cheated on partner.

One study shows it can even result in acute stress symptoms characteristic of post-traumatic stress disorder.[i] That’s pretty serious stuff.

A hacker leaked data from 3.9 million Adult Friend Finder members onto a darknet forum.

Along with birthdays, ZIP codes, and IP addresses, the leak also includes details like sexual orientations and whether or not the user was interested in an extramarital affair. Message board posts written by the alleged hacker, ROR[RG], revealed that the data was first stolen over a month ago.

Without doubt these individuals have every right to feel angry, mistrustful, hurt, and confused. We had such a good relationship for the past 4 years. Well, he left the house for a few hours & I tried to calm down & think about the most logical way to handle it. And of course now they think I am some sort of deranged stalker.

At the very least they need validation for their feelings and help processing the shame of being cheated on, along with education and support to move forward. When he got back I explained to him that this sort of behavior is unacceptable to most people in committed relationships. It needs to stop if we have any chance of saving our relationship. I noticed he was talking to a second strange woman. She kept saying she needs help & she kept asking him if he would “Do her a favor”. Yes for a few months I did stalk his stuff but ONLY AFTER I saw the red flags. Just remember folks that if you are dealing with this issue in your life, seeking support is the only way to get though this.

Does masturbating to Internet pornography qualify as infidelity?