Unless abusers take full responsibility for their behaviors, they are unlikely to change.

For details, see OPDV’s “What About Help for Your Abusive Partner?

Domestic violence is also called domestic abuse, intimate partner violence, or dating violence. People most often people think of domestic violence as physical abuse, but that’s only part of the picture. The majority (85%) of victims are female who are abused by male partners . While some male victims of domestic violence are abused by female partners, the overwhelming majority of male victims are abused by other men.

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In a nationwide survey, 9.4 percent of high school students report being hit, slapped, or physically hurt on purpose by their boyfriend or girlfriend in the 12 months prior to the survey.

Domestic violence is a pattern of coercive tactics, which can include physical, psychological, sexual, economic and emotional abuse, perpetrated by one person against an adult intimate partner, with the goal of establishing and maintaining power and control over the victim.

They may be charming, jealous, controlling, and manipulative and they may blame others for their problems.

They may rush into a relationship (“sweep you off your feet” or proclaim “love at first sight”) and insist that you spend all your time with them. One study showed that boys who witness domestic violence are twice as likely to abuse their own partners and children when they become adults. There are boys who are abusive as adults but never witnessed it in the home, and others who witnessed it in the home but decided they were not going to repeat that behavior.

It’s important to understand the distinctions between domestic abuse (coercive controlling violence), responsive violence, and fights (situational couple violence). That said, there is strong link between domestic violence and child abuse.

Many people who abuse their partners also abuse children in the household.

Teen dating violence is defined as the physical, sexual or psychological/emotional violence within a teen dating relationship, as well as stalking.

It can occur between a current or former dating partner.

Additional resources available in most communities may include: local domestic violence program, police, probation, Family Court, local civil legal services, local Department of Social Services (includes Child Protective Services, Adult Protective Services), NYS Office of Temporary and Disability Assistance, and local Victim Assistance Programs. Domestic violence programs offer 24-hour hotlines, confidential counseling and emergency housing (shelter) for domestic violence victims and their children.