Dating advice for women playing hard to get
easy to get), or in a detached and aloof manner (i.e. The second experiment was folded into the speed-dating component of the first: some of the male participants were set up with women for whom they’d already expressed some interest, and some of them were set up with randomly-assigned women.At the end of the experiment — and take this with a heteronormative grain of salt — researchers concluded that individuals who played “easy to get” were seen as more likable, while individuals who played “hard to get” were seen as more desirable.Establishing a coy, flirtatious repartee I’ve many times employed the hard to get strategy myself, although I’m not sure how effectively. For example, are my current boyfriend and I together because I played hard to get?
The philosophy of “playing hard to get” has been instilled in me since birth — partially because, without it, my birth might never have occurred.
Per the story my parents have rehashed for years, hard to get was the domino that tipped their relationship from dating into engagement.
“You can’t get too bogged down by the so-called rules, i.e.
don’t ever text a boy first, don’t kiss until he’s asked you out, etc. Suddenly, abiding by the rules made me feel power instead of powerful.
Increase your perceived value by appearing “scarce”2.
Test the interest and commitment of a potential partner3.I think the outcome isn’t dictated by someone playing hard to get with me, but rather how I’m already feeling about them and the relationship.It’s never going to be a put-off, but it’s not always going to be a successful strategy either.”When I asked a handful of female peers what they thought, my friend Eliza (age 25) beelined to the biggest potential pitfall of playing hard to get: “I believe it can be effective, but I’ve also had the problem where I play so hard to get that it seems like I’m disinterested even though I’m not.”Pippa, also age 25, agreed that playing hard to get only works if you don’t take it too far.That same wisdom, as it turns out, has been propagated as the gold standard of dating advice for centuries.When I told Jennifer Wright, author of , that I was curious about the historical origins of this approach to courtship, she quipped, “If you think about it, Anne Boleyn is kind of the original queen (literally) of the hard-to-get strategy, because she initially refused to become Henry VIII’s mistress.”Touché. If you like someone, why purposefully act as if you in order to get them to like you back?My mom has been a hard to get devotee since the tender age of 16, when she developed her first crush on a boy who would always wait until the last minute to ask her to hang out.