Five-times-married Jan Leeming claimed in Femail last week that internet dating has given her a new lease of life - and she's not alone. There's more chance of winning the Lottery on a double rollover week than there is of being a woman over 35 and getting a date on the internet. Her brain cannot process the words: 'I don't think you're quite right for me.'LIKES THE FINER THINGS IN LIFE Gold digger. WILLING TO TRAVEL Lives in a filthy flea-ridden hovel that he can't possibly let you see. NORMAL KIND OF GUY Normal in a Norman Bates kind of way. NEVER DONE THIS Have done this a thousand times before, but I'm too embarrassed to admit it, so will pretend that you're my first. Your date will be a riot of whoopee cushions, itching powder and fake-dogpoo-filled fun.

A staggering 65 per cent of British singletons now turn to the internet looking for love. It doesn't matter if the guy is 60, he'll still confine his searches to '35 and under', so any woman's age should be taken as a ball park figure. Working her way through the internet site and it's your turn. Looking for a new wardrobe, jewellery and a few weekends away before she dumps you for a 25-year-old Adonis. Normality should be a given, so run a mile from anyone selling it as a good point. The golden rule of internet dating is that anyone who feels obliged to mention they have a sense of humour is usually devoid of one. LOOKS NOT IMPORTANT Barrel-scraping beggar who can't afford to be a chooser.5ft 10 5ft 7.

All our profiles are hand checked to ensure members are genuine sailing enthusiasts. We have members from all over the world looking to make new friends to sail with.

This entire genre of apps has in effect turned your local dog park, museum, mall, and crowded train station into a gigantic "singles" bar (though not everyone is single). And if you have traditionally been the kind of person too shy to make the first move -- no worries, as long as your app is open it is actively signaling your availability, so it won't be long before someone finds you. And just as bad, two guys I genuinely liked dating dumped me when they found me cruising Grindr while they were in the other room making dinner or on the phone. But I still haven't been able to put the thing away and stay away.

The Dangers of Convenient Sex Unfortunately, much like a casino app in the hands of a compulsive gambler, those struggling with sexual addiction and similar sexual problems see sex finder apps as the equivalent of crack cocaine. Rico's story aside, sex finder apps have for most healthy people generated a reliable new source of casual romantic and sexual encounters, offering a readily available, mostly free source of brief sexual encounters and connection. One important recommendation for anyone choosing to enter the "friend finder" world is to make sure they have genuine clarity about what it is they want.

She can tell you the name of every character in TV teen drama Gossip Girl, but has no idea who the Prime Minister is. Likes to start the day with a couple of Bacardi Breezers. I'M INTO WHIRLWIND ROMANCES My visa runs out in 10 days and if I don't get married I'll be deported. Brace yourself for a world of cup-a-soups and novelty toilet roll holders. She'll have Googled you and looked you up on Friends Reunited before you even meet. Andrew Lloyd Webber will look like a Calvin Klein model next to this guy. TOLD ATTRACTIVE By my mother, the only woman I've every loved or am ever likely to. HOPE YOU LIKE MY PICTURE Taken 10 years ago and bears no resemblance on now. NOT JUST LOOKING FOR SEX I am just looking for sex but hope you won't see through my cunning reverse psychology. On a date he'll order graphically named cocktails and talk dirty with you over the garlic bread.

You want to paint the town red and she'll want you to paint her living room beige. Woe betide you if you don't notice she's had her hair cut or that she's wearing new shoelaces. Everyone in online dating is 'attractive.' In the real world it means 'pleasant to look at' - in the internet-speak it means: two eyes, two ears and a mouth. When he's not even claiming to be attractive, it's time to worry. DISCRETION OFFERED I don't care if you're married too. So unless you're a sure thing you pay for your own dinner.

Feeling safe, with my friends all around, I texted back, asking him to come over and I'd buy him a drink.

In less than five minutes, there he was, arms crossed, big smile on his face, right in front of me.

Smartphone "friend finder" apps like Ashley Madison (for marrieds and partnered individuals seeking "out of the roost" sex), Skout and Blendr (for single straight men and women), Grindr (to find male-male partners) or Pink Cupid (to find lesbians and bisexual partners) -- among many others -- are actually friend finders . households now own at least one smartphone, it seems reasonable to assume that increasing numbers of people are eagerly following this app-created breadcrumb trail to sex with strangers wherever and whenever time and circumstances allow.

More accurately, these more accurately named, "sex-finder" apps are designed to help you geo-locate an immediately available, readily accessible romantic or sexual partner much in the same way that Yelp or Citysearch will direct you to a nearby four star sushi bar or Italian deli with a good smartphone and the flick of your index finger. Once downloaded and opened, sex finder apps bring up an instant photo grid of potentially available sex partners, presorted by location, gender, age and/or sexual preference -- all on your smartphone screen.

But David and I did hook up that night, and quite a few times since, totally without strings, but also having a lot of fun. When out to dinner with friends I would set my phone to silent so it would merely vibrate in my pocket when someone was looking to connect with me.

Thanks to smartphone apps, seeking and finding fast hot casual sex has become, much like real estate, all about location. Before long using the app started to take over whatever free time I had.

With sex apps there's no muss, no fuss, just the act itself and a handshake on the way out, thank you very much.