“The Sadie Hawkins dance is named after Sadie Hawkins because she broke gender barriers by beating out hundreds of male actors for the role of E. Including Christopher Walken and John Belushi, both of whom sadly buried themselves alive when they found out they were not cast as E. “It sounds like none of you freaky little nitwits know the right answer!

You’re going to the Sadie Hawkins dance with THE vice principal of the school. You aren’t going to find a much better date than that. You run around the room, bumping into various walls and desks before falling to the floor and lying motionless until Ms. Do you really want to go to the Sadie Hawkins dance with the guy who comes into school early every day to make sure all the computers in the lab are booted up and running properly? but you might want to go back and see if you can snag Andy.

Then, he finishes, crumples it in his pocket, and turns to a friend at the locker next to him.“Dude, I just got the weirdest note in my locker about the Sadie Hawkins dance.

But would Andy ever agree to go to the dance with little old you?

He’s so successful that he might be hard to snag, but a girl can dream. And hell if he doesn’t know how to rock a pair of boot-cut jeans.

You hope you aren’t having some kind of dumbass aneurysm, because this might just be the biggest day of your life.

“It’s Sadie Hawkins time, and in case you infernal twerps aren’t up to speed, you’re about to ruin the time-honored tradition of men being in charge! Now, first things first: Does anyone know who Sadie Hawkins was? He turns to his friend, ashen-faced.“This is it,” he says urgently. Is that why he wasn’t at the Algebra II pre-session? But for now he’s still a viable Sadie Hawkins date! Pretty much everyone at Southport is terrified of the Dark Locker, but if there’s even a tiny chance that it’s Andy’s assigned locker, it’ll be worth braving it. Did Andy get kidnapped by a Finnish family last summer? Everybody’s rushing to get out of the school, and it looks like Andy dropped the note on the ground. You nearly opened up a pretty big can of worms about his past that might have stopped him from going to the dance at all. A familiar voice issues forth through the shrouded locker vents: You found the Dark Locker and you’re right outside! Smith, who’s starting class.“Welcome to English class, everybody. It’s pretty obvious that she only made one lesson plan for the entire year. Ooh, Colin O’Keefe owns a startup that helps retired lawyers turn their old briefcases into soccer balls for younger, more athletic lawyers. He takes his little brother to the park on weekends. You’re starting to feel like you’re falling behind.