Had my ex secretly pined for a girl who was merely sweet and casual and easy-going?

Finally, at some point, I came crashing down to my senses.

Most importantly, I prefer pouting to smiling, and I’ve never posted an “inspirational” quote with a shimmery background in my life.

The girl who is constantly updating her status about how #blessed her life is numbing herself with drugs.

The perfect couple posing on the beach hasn’t had sex in six months. I had allowed myself to get twisted up over a cartoon of a person, which is precisely what our social media persona is -- a one-dimensional Minnie Mouse version of ourselves.

I, on the other hand, am tall with a head made up of dark brown hair that I style with a 400-degree flat iron, daily.

I rarely wear glasses, but when I do, they’re massive and horn-rimmed, their grand size consuming the half the contents of my face.

The biggest chunk of advice I could ever bestow on to you is don’t compare yourself to your ex’s new girlfriend, especially in this toxic age of social media addiction. She’s not posting pictures of her puffy face after a night of drinking and crying, and neither are you.

Just because her and your former flame aren’t posting about their fights doesn’t mean they don’t have them.

So he did and I never saw or heard from him until about 5 months later.

He emailed a very sterile message telling me not to worry about giving back a few DVD's I still had because he's replaced them.

(Even though, the DVD's were in my mailbox forever waiting to be picked up but he never showed.