These two approaches worked very well together ensuring that (at least on first dates) there were never any awkward pauses.The topics you choose should not solely be there to fill in empty space.Early on, there may not be much you care to discover; this was the case for me.

For example, even if I didn’t have a good story to share I could still counter one of their horror date stories with one that a previous date had shared with me.

“That’s nothing”, I would say, “one girl I met recently had been called by a guy she had just met three times before she even got home! No one ever took offense that I was sharing others’ stories: the truth is, everyone, myself included, just loves to hear that they’re not the only ones struggling.

First, as mentioned previously, I intentionally kept first dates short and only extended the “good” ones.

Second, I would memorize topics that I could talk about.

This refers to parts of your conversation where you are discovering if who you have just met has what you are looking for.

This is important to mention because you are looking for particular qualities whether you’ve admitted it or not.

For all my shyness, I never found it very difficult to have conversations on a first date.

It isn’t that I gained confidence, I just planned ahead.

You know qualities you are hoping to find in someone else and many of your topics should be used to discover if your date has these qualities. I’ll break down the first date conversations into three categories and discuss each.

At the same time, you can’t put your date “on trial” so you need to mix your conversations up between discovery, simple light-hearted small-talk, and sharing about yourself. However, any good date won’t require as much thinking as this information suggests.

I found this made for excellent small-talk and I also found that once I started, my dates had stories that they were excited to share.