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You may be a one-woman or one-man kind of gal, and that is totally OK.Do you—and if you’re not sure what that looks like, experiment, but don’t go from 0 to 60.In light of all this, I asked psychologist Irene Levine, clinical professor of psychiatry at New York University Langone School of Medicine, to demystify the allure of dating multiple people simultaneously, once and for all.
“You may not be giving yourself the opportunity to truly get to know one person and may be avoiding intimacy,” says Levine.
So go slow, and pay attention to how all of this makes you feel.
As an aside, in this day and age, dating two (or more) people at once is not considered duplicitous or “two-timing.” Until you have The Exclusivity Talk, you’re free to gad about, dating whomever in whatever quantity you desire.
This is the unwritten rule of dating in the modern age.
I know how borderline insane that sounds, but I did that too when I was single: About six months after a long relationship ended, I dated two men, a professor and a crazy person, basically on two opposing sides of the spectrum, for about a month simultaneously. I knew I wasn’t serious about both, didn’t get hung up on either, and walked away bruise-free.
Of course, once I met someone stellar, I stopped with the two-timing and focused my energy on one wonderful man.This has changed now that she has started seeing someone she really likes, but until recently, I encouraged her to keep seeing this other, duddier guy throughout, just so she wouldn’t concentrate all of her anxieties on one dude.I advised her not to put all of her dating eggs in one basket, if you will.In other words, if you’re ISO a diamond ring, dating three people at once is probably not wise.And if someone asks you point-blank if you’re dating anyone else and you say no, that’s just straight-up cheating.Dating one woman can be challenging, so it goes without saying that dating several women at a time can pose many potential obstacles—the biggest being not making yourself look like a complete asshole.