The Philippines, being a country archipelago of islands and seas, have naturally wonderful beaches, some of which are famous the world over.

Beaches like Puerto Galera, Boracay, and the various beaches in Cebu rake in tourists from around the world all year round because of their pristine and cool blue waters and fine, white-sand shores.

You still hold on to it, and check to see if you won, you know, just in case.

Or maybe that’s why girls don’t respond back to me?

They’re probably closed you out and you didn’t know. I WISH they had closed me out, that way at least I know they’re weren’t interested, they would be removed from my list.

And I don’t close out any matches even though they haven’t responded in weeks/months because there’s always a chance.

That’s always kind of awkward when you’re supposed to be “working”. You’re going to continue reading without telling any of your hot female co-workers? I had some other titles in work for this blog, but they just didn’t capture the essence of what I was trying to say. A “computer” matches you up based on “29 levels of compatibility”, which I’m fine with. Because you’re thinking, wow some super computer down at Eharmony headquarters is crunching vectors and differential equations just to find my perfect mate, and everyday you log in and see new matches, that you think are hand picked from the computer gods above.

I mean, I feel bad if you’re at work right now reading this, and the biggest letters on your screen involve the words FUCK YOU. So after you completed their riddles and questions, you then can start receiving “matches”, hurray!

Two dates where I was probably settling, compromising and giving in, just to go on dates. Not at all, they were perfectly normal, fine people, just not the match for me. It’s literally a 40 minute survey asking you the same question 37 different ways.

First thing you have to do is fill out the SATs of online dating.

My distance is set to the smallest at 30 miles away. I’m not going to end up in one of their commercials. Pass this along to anyone that’s thinking about doing eharmony.com, it’s your American duty. I called and spoke to a guy, and all he could say was “all I can do is refer you to the email”, he literally said that like 7 times.