My in-laws were very nervous about the whole ordeal since they hadn’t dealt with a baby in over 30 years.But too bad for them because I really, really wanted to go out in public and get my drink on for the first time in nine months.His oldest daughter cried loudly through the entire wedding ceremony.

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I am having alot of trouble trusting anyone to leave my daughter with for a few hours so i can get errands run or have a date night with my husband.

I have not spent anytime away from my daughter since she was born the thought of leaving her with someone for a few hours scares me to death.

Lorain, a reader of my monthly E-Magazine for stepfamilies, wrote asking how she might strengthen her relationship with her 19, 24, and 26 year-old stepchildren.

“I was 49 when I married for the first time; my husband was 55. My husband kept his children up to date about our relationship and things were pretty civil until we married.

i just cant bring myself to do it but sometimes i want a break but im afraid if i leave her with someone she will cry the whole time im gone or they wont take care of her like i do and she wont be happy anymore and when i go back to pick her up something will be wrong with her. i too hate leaving my son not becuase anything has happened just as i feel lost without him… My daughter is 7 months and I have never left her overnight. Today is actually the first time I have been away from her (she is with her aunt and uncle for a few hours) and it is KILLING me being away from her.

i am also worried that because i havent spent anytime away from her she now has seperation anxiety and she wont be happy with anyone but me and thats not good. I am not allowing ANYONE to take my daughter overnight until she is able to speak and actually asks me to sleep over.

SEE ALSO: How to Prepare for the Adventure of Remarriage Without question, a parent’s remarriage ripples through the generations of your family.

It may take a great deal of time for you to open your heart to a stepparent and their extended family.

From there things have continued to go downhill at a rapid pace.” Lorain’s experience is not uncommon, nor is her idealistic assumption that a marriage with adult children who no longer live in the home will not be impacted by the dynamics of loss and loyalty.

Thankfully, adult children and stepparents do not have the same power battles that younger stepfamilies experience because the stepparent is not trying to get the children to pick up their socks or choose better friends.

SEE ALSO: He Said-She Said: Talking About Remarriage As a new couple you must apply patience and understanding to these strong emotions. When confronted with difficult responses from adult children, assume a humble position and listen to their fears and concerns.